Risking It

The Witch says:

It's been a month since the last update, what's up with us girls? Are we losing interest? I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. About changes and the risks that we take. I then remembered something I used to say a lot. You can only lose what you risk.

What are you willing to risk?

The Lady says:

Hi! It's been a while, I know, but it can't be helped. Hayyy... Next time I think I'm ready, can you guys try to remind me how fun life is the way it is... Anyways, I guess I have always known that there would be sacrifices when I took the position and sacrifice I did but losing the luxury of almost always having the time to do anything I want can't stop me from bemoaning the loss. I feel it and of course the Witch and the Bitch are definitely feeling it. Sorry girls, but you did wish it for me! :)

So I wonder, what am I really willing to risk? I once thought I don't ever want to risk anything. I love what I'm used, the place where I'm at but then I realized I will risk anything except for one thing. I will never risk losing myself! I have always felt that my personality has been tugged by a lot of factors in different directions and sometimes it can't be helped but if there's one thing I've discovered is that there always a choice. The choices may not always be what you want but it's still a choice. And I will make it only when I'm good and ready. I won't ever risk losing me by giving in to pressure from anyone because that's not who I am. My parents' know it and so does my friends. And I think I may have to cling hard to it now more than ever...

I am at a place where people thought someone else is better in my place but I will have to show them that they are wrong. They may think they made a mistake but I will show them that it's not their fault. It just so happens that I'm really good when I want something. And I really know my strengths and weaknesses and I know how to exploit both to my advantage. Risks? Everything but me. :)

The Witch says:

Sweetie, the question was about what you can risk, not what you can't risk. Oh well...

I wish I could say I'm willing to risk everything, after all you only experience fear when you're afraid of losing something. Unfortunately, I'm not a human bone marrow with no nerve endings.

It took me a while to think of that one thing I'm willing to risk. Upon re-reading and internalizing what the Lady wrote I realized I'm her exact opposite. I can risk myself and I'm more than willing to lose myself. It's the only thing I could say is entirely mine and by willingly risking it, I'm freeing myself from the fear of not having it thus I gain everything instead of losing everything.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd willingly risk myself, the now and the present, to give way to my future self however big a gamble that may be. Too much you say? I say push yourself to the limits.

The Bitch Says:

I am willing to risk... shoot, i dont know. I think its easier to say what im NOT willing to risk.. i know its pasaway in a sense and it kinda takes the whole essence of the title or the blog, but heck, i cant think of anything in my life to risk over something... Ok, that sounds freakin' selfish, but its true. i wish to remain as happy and as contented as i can with myself, and everything around me. and i'm not sorry about thinking that way. maybe its time to be selfish and not want to risk anything. that doesnt mean you're afraid, that just means you value whats yours. and intend to keep it.

selfish as it may be to others, who cares? if you keep brooding over what others think and what they feel and whatnot, how the heck are you going to live for yourself? and the lady is right, riski losing yourself? no way. no how. so there.